Not so alone in my world

Written Sept 2nd.
My heart aches for you
but you cannot see it
my want and need for you
my love
I understand your confusion
and the pain you feel
but i have pain to
and its getting hard to bare
My tears flow freely
my sobs are loud
my breath is rapid
Will you ever love me
the way i love you?
can you not give me this chance
and see where it may lead?
I know you are scared
I feel your fear
It is mine as well
But i choose happiness over hell.
I choose you.

I use to have hope......I use to need everything planned out....to know where I was going....for some reason i dont need that anymore. Well I am trying to not need that. My life has taken some huge turns lately. My goals and dreams have changed and to something new just to something that has been on the back burner for a while. These last two weeks I have realized that things I have been denying myself for song long....do not need to be denied any longer.

I know that you all may not understand and this blog is someone UNCLEAR but it will all start to unravel in the days to come. Just know that I am much better now. I know my last couple of posts have been somewhat gloomy and hopeless...but i was out of control.....i was alone.....felt torn apart.....

So we'll see where this journey goes......

Have Hope

I cant take this

I cant do this anymore....everything reminds me of him. I see his car everywhere and it doesnt matter what colour it is....everywhere. I hear songs that make me think of him and us....how do i do this?

this is the song......that says it all......its me and its aweful.....and its the best song.....i wish i knew what was going on......im going crazy.......get a grip kara...holy fuck.....

Something 'bout the way you looked at me
Made me think for a moment,
That maybe we were meant to be
Living our lives seperately
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately

Oh why can't I ignore it?
I keep giving it in but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it's strange that things change
But not me wanting you so desperately
You looked my way and said "you frustrate me"
Like you're thinking of lines and times
When you and I were you and me
We took our chance out on the street
Then I missed my chance
And chances are it won't be coming back to me
Why can't I ignore it? I keep giving in, but I should know better
'Cause there was something 'bout the way you looked at me
And it strange that things change
But not me wanting you-So desperately So desperately

I keep giving in but I should know better
I keep giving in but I should know better
So desperately I want you so desperately