Like A Slap in the Face.....

Ever had one of those? it stings like a bitch.....and most of the time you never see it coming. Thats exactly what I got yesterday, perfect alignment, right square in the face. And in this particular case it wasnt the sting that hurt the most. Its the numbness, the fact that I feel stupid, like a fool. After all we have been though, after how hard we have fought for this relationship....."Mr Big" now needs some space.....or rather a week as he put it? as if the clarity of life's unknowns will hit him in a week? and is it really possible to be " head over heels" for someone one day and then feel nothing the next? apparently. Maybe the part that hurts the most is that from the beginning he preached about honesty and trust and communication, and then hes the one who failed to do all three. He knew how he was feeling yet left me in the dark. Made me believe that everything was fine....perfect rather so I continue to give everything I have into make this work.....and then one day.....after a great day ( or so I thought) he decides that this isnt working. WOW......like i said...right squarly in the face.
So now here I am left to pick up the pieces.....usually i never let this happen, never let down my guard...but he was good.....really good.....he knew what to say, how to treat me...you know all those things that make a girl melt.....he knew....but he also knows how to tear it all apart. "Dont wait for me" he says......as if I have anyother choice. Yeah my head says forget him, he's nothing, he only hurts you, builds you up then tears you down. But my heart loves him, loves what we had, what he said we could have again.....I dont know what to do......wait a week? get on with my life? what?....there are no answers......there never are.