Golf Course Confessions (cont)
Do you think it is crazy to hear a voice that is not your own in your head? I mean no someone telling you to do evil things but maybe "death" talking or "life" screaming to get out? Sometimes I can hear you, and strangely enough it is the soothing voice of Anthony Hopkins. Maybe I have watched 'Meet Joe Black' one too many times but it is comforting, somehow familiar and safe. I know you are always here with me I can feel you....
I am quietly listening and wonder what will come next. Song lyrics fly through my mind but none are staying long enough to make an impact...I miss you though grandam and when I think about you the pain is real and deep.
No more card games, no more mashed potatoes and corn, no more stories about you and grandpa from before I existed. How can you be gone...how could you leave me?
I know the decisions I have made recently have been mine and I know you can see me...I will not make excuses but I am lost.
"Lost Without Your Love"
-Bread
You were my comfort, my rock and my strength. My safe place outside of my world and now you are gone! And I am alone.
My thoughts are jumbled and as I fight to compose myself while at work i begin to think of things much less complicated, less painful....
Tulips
The day has gotten much colder now and as I sit here I see the yellow tulip petals turning brown and falling off one by one. When the wind blows they stretch their leaves and enjoy the ride It is easy to see that this is their journey. When the sun comes out they proudly stand tall and raise their heads towards the heat but when darkness falls you can hear the sound of death quietly creep by. By morning only the tall green bodies are left, their remains swept away into the night breeze.
I have been contemplating the idea of Italy. 'Under The Tuscan Sun' is my inspiration. The movie and its plot almost make me cry because there are so many similarities between the film and my life. My only fear is that I would never come home....
I can picture myself by the ocean standing on a pier with waves crashing on either side of me, or in a vinyard tasting the delicious grapes soon to be made into a fine Italian wine. Days spent relaxing, dreaming, swimming in fountains. I can feel the warm air on my cheek, smell the salt in the air even as the wind here blows strong and forces the hat from my head.....
REALITY......
Maybe that is a hint....to stop dreaming. As i chase my hat towards the pond I laugh to myself, how silly I must look chasing after this yellow hat. Who knows where the wind will take me. Another day....another journey....lets hope this road is not a wet one.
Well I will end this today...no more insightful really than when i started...my thoughts all jumbled into one long post......but we will meet again soon!
I am quietly listening and wonder what will come next. Song lyrics fly through my mind but none are staying long enough to make an impact...I miss you though grandam and when I think about you the pain is real and deep.
No more card games, no more mashed potatoes and corn, no more stories about you and grandpa from before I existed. How can you be gone...how could you leave me?
I know the decisions I have made recently have been mine and I know you can see me...I will not make excuses but I am lost.
"Lost Without Your Love"
-Bread
You were my comfort, my rock and my strength. My safe place outside of my world and now you are gone! And I am alone.
My thoughts are jumbled and as I fight to compose myself while at work i begin to think of things much less complicated, less painful....
Tulips
The day has gotten much colder now and as I sit here I see the yellow tulip petals turning brown and falling off one by one. When the wind blows they stretch their leaves and enjoy the ride It is easy to see that this is their journey. When the sun comes out they proudly stand tall and raise their heads towards the heat but when darkness falls you can hear the sound of death quietly creep by. By morning only the tall green bodies are left, their remains swept away into the night breeze.
I have been contemplating the idea of Italy. 'Under The Tuscan Sun' is my inspiration. The movie and its plot almost make me cry because there are so many similarities between the film and my life. My only fear is that I would never come home....
I can picture myself by the ocean standing on a pier with waves crashing on either side of me, or in a vinyard tasting the delicious grapes soon to be made into a fine Italian wine. Days spent relaxing, dreaming, swimming in fountains. I can feel the warm air on my cheek, smell the salt in the air even as the wind here blows strong and forces the hat from my head.....
REALITY......
Maybe that is a hint....to stop dreaming. As i chase my hat towards the pond I laugh to myself, how silly I must look chasing after this yellow hat. Who knows where the wind will take me. Another day....another journey....lets hope this road is not a wet one.
Well I will end this today...no more insightful really than when i started...my thoughts all jumbled into one long post......but we will meet again soon!
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